Weight Loss Anxiety...

Being away from home this week, I also wanted to dedicate a post to the anxiety that comes with first being separated from your normal routine and your scale at home.  I first experienced this when I went on vacation to Florida back in March, but have been re-experiencing it again over the past week.

Everyone judges his/her weight loss in a different way. For me, it was all

about numbers on the scale and getting to that healthy weight range.  Since I've made it there, it's been all about maintaining a healthy weight within a certain number of "flux" pounds--for me it's five pounds.  For some people, it's more about how their clothes fit and maintaining a certain size, etc.

Since I'm a numbers person, I weigh myself every day.  Part of this comes from entering my weight into my LoseIt.com app. on my phone/computer every day in order to get an accurate calorie allowability count for the day and part of it is just personal paranoia about maintaining my weight loss.  This is with some truth, as various studies have shown that those who weigh themselves often tend to weigh less overall.  However, you can't really drag a scale with you on vacation--well, I suppose you could, but then you'd be "that guy."  

So, as a result of the lack of scale, I found myself becoming more and more paranoid throughout the week concerning how much I weighed.  Seems silly, right?  When I went to Florida, I weighed exactly the same when I got back as I did when I left, but there is still that lingering anxiety.  In part, I'd really like to not worry about it for a week, have a good time, try to eat healthily, and then get back on a normal routine as soon as I can--but I know that in the back of my mind, maintaining my weight will always be a lingering concern.  In the end, this is probably not a bad thing--as it keeps me thinking about what I'm eating and trying to make good choices overall, but it also seems a tad unnatural to me.

So, this would be a good time to discuss what it feels like mentally to lose a considerable amount of weight and cope with maintaining this weight loss over time.  It's really hard.  It's nice when everyone tells you how great you look, but part of me still doesn't see it, no matter how many times I look in the mirror.  If I look at a picture, my before and after photo, for example, I can certainly see the difference, but I don't see the *new* me like everyone else does.  At the extreme, this can become  body dimorphic disorder--where you become so focused on some perceived flaw in your appearance that it's impossible to live a normal life.  Check out the Mayo Clinic's website for more information:  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder/DS00559.  

Secondarily, my body doesn't look like it used to.  And for me, that is hard to get used to as well.  Don't get me wrong, clothes fit better, I feel better, and am more confident, but it's hard to get comfortable with the new me too.  This is especially true since I've started running.  In the past, I've gained and lost weight through diet, but have always pretty much looked like a smaller or larger version of the same person.  Intense exercise changes your body's shape more-so than a simple diet.  Where I always felt like I was on the curvier side, I'm suddenly more wiry and bony looking. And this is something I'm still getting used to...